Power of positivity for children.
Now life is difficult, we all have our own issues and problems which mount up and suck happiness/positivity out of us. Bills, work, health, cars, friends, partners and yes even our children. These are sources of friction, day after day, week after week they can grind us down.
We can take frustrations out on those close to us. I remember a time quite vividly where my boy Ethan was following me around the house, after a long day in the office, he was excited about a toy he wanted. I snapped at him, his voice was high pitched and it got to me.
I noticed his reaction and had to work on him for a while to get him around. I realised then, that what I say, can affect him in ways that I don’t realise. Which is sad, but...
also really cool!!!!!
I’m big into Tony Robbins, podcasts, setting yourself up to win etc
So I thought, that perhaps I flip it...
I started off getting him to say little things...
“I got this”
“I can do anything”
“Today is going to be a good day”
Children’s mentality is very flexible. As a twin, Ethan had settled into a ‘Secondary’ role behind his brother, so...
Daily the phrases above, reward charts, rewarding for efforts, compliments and the most important...
asking his opinion. That’s a biggy, children have to believe that their opinion matters, that they can effect change otherwise they leave home and it takes years to truly grasp the fact they own their own life...
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I was never told I could be whatever I wanted, that I had a voice. My Dads word was law.
It’s such an antiquated idea, especially in this new world of opportunity, it is SO important that our kids believe in themselves. Especially when you consider technological changes are removing jobs left right and centre.
So every day...
“Ethan I think you are awesome”
“Ethan everyone thinks you are cool”
“Ethan I think you look great today”
“Ethan you are really funny”
“Ethan you are so fast”
“Ethan you can do anything you want”
Obviously, I’m doing the same with my boy Ryan!
What are the results...
Both boys are improving in reading, writing, sports and their reports are glowing. They hardly ever say I can’t anymore. They are trying sports instead of standing shy on the side.
“I’m the best”
“I can do this”
“I want to do it on my own”
Are regular phrases, it makes me so proud.
One of the best things to happen actually came a couple of weeks ago, Ethan was in the car with me and he said.
“Daddy put on the Maui song”
Referring to You’re Welcome from Moana.
“Ok mate, you love that song don’t you?” I said as I put the CD in.
“Yeah, it makes me feel happy and that’s a good way to start the day.” He said.
Positivity all the way.
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Damien is part of the This Dad Can community. He is a passionate dad to twins.
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This is awesome! I will try your methods out with my own two sons.